Archive for August, 2009

The above title might be a bit sappy or cliche, but I’m not obliged to care at this time.

photo credit: Alyssa L. Miller

I just returned from a work trip to Houston, TX and was miserable every second I was away from my pregnant wife and my 19 month old son.

While I get back into the swing of things I just wanted to publicly let them know that I missed the crap out of them.

I’m glad to be home out of the humidity and back into daily wrestling matches with my little linebacker.

When I have to leave again after the twins are born, I will make every attempt to stay closer to home and pack them all up with me. Being away from your family sucks major donkey ass.

Hug your children. Kiss your spouse.

• Don’t Waste Your Time Taking Probiotics!

August 21, 2009
- My son takes probiotics every morning, and after reading this article on TheCompounder.com, I’m pretty sure I’m completely freaked out about sucralose now. It’s in EVERYTHING. Especially his children’s motrin.

• Open Question: During my Ultrasound?

August 17, 2009
- I know it is acceptable to request an ultrasound between 10 and 13 weeks if you are fearful of Down syndrome. Your insurance might not pay for it if it isn’t recommended by the Dr, but hell, you can get anything done if you flash some green. DONT BE GROSS PEOPLE!

• Open Question: Is there a portion on the FAFSA to indicate the status of being a twin?

August 17, 2009
- Wait a minute, you can get college assistance because your mom had a case of the awesome? I didn’t know twins was on the list with American Indian and Born Without Common Sense.!.

• Open Question: My big pregnant belly gets too much attention…?

August 17, 2009
- Sensitive women are fodder for those with hurtful intentions, or for those of us who like to poke fun because we think you’re frickin beautiful. CHILL

I will admit to almost anything.
I watch reality television. I cry during Adam Sandler movies. I wear baseball jersies during football season and football jersies during baseball season. I’m a die hard Chicago Cubs fan, and we suck every frickin’ year. I’m a die hard Chicago Bears fan and we manage to suck pretty consistently as well. I read alot in the bathroom, and usually only stop once my legs have fallen asleep. I sleep with a purple pillow I call “purple pillow” and it smells like vitamins because I sweat into it the vitamins I mix at work.

I am addicted to lists.

photo credit: nalilo

Lists for what to do today, what to bring today, what to pack for tomorrow, what to write other lists about, etc.

So, while digging for more lists to create in my fat head, I stumbled upon a site that I have now bookmarked called: TwinMamaLoves.com.

More specifically, I found a post that SCREAMS my name and often times it screams it with a quite erotic undertone:

“JOEL! READ ME OVER AND OVER.”

This particular post is entitled: What Gear to Buy For Twins. I have read it about 78 times and kept it bookmarked, not on the homepage, but on this post.

So, if you are like me and you like your life listed out in “WHAT CAN I DO FIRST” fashion, go check out TwinMamaLoves.com‘s post called Twin Tuesday: What Gear to Buy For Twins.

• Open Question: Pregnant with twins but its too early to determine whether they are identical or not or the gender?

August 17, 2009
- We were told last week that there is always a 10% chance that our twins will be identical. Which confuses me because I thought if they were different sexes they can’t be identical?

So we’ve crossed the first trimester threshold. The morning sickness has retreated a little bit. The appetite has returned a fair amount. YET.

Wifey can still hurl with the best of em, but she isn’t as timid or fearful about things that could potentially make her sick as she was just a month ago. I still find humor in almost every aspect of her pregnancy because nothing is a small problem, everything is the end of the world, even if it’s right there on the page in front of me as being a normal part of a twin pregnancy.

Round ligament pain, mucus, sore back, nausea, headache, irritibility, you name it, she is still trudging uphill through 8 feet of snow barefoot through it all.

She still has hang ups on things that could potentially make her gag, and I’ve come to appreciate the newer ones and some of the classics.

Here is our first SECOND TRIMESTER list of WHAT WIFEY HATES PT. III!

1. ANYONE’s breath, still
2. Our garage. 
3. Fresh cut grass
4. Cheap motorcycle exhaust
5. MSG, Aspartame & High Fructose Corn Syrup, still. (Read about MSG here!!)
6. The smell of Pasta Pickups “these smell like dog food”
7. Dogfood – we dont have a dog, but if we did, its food would make Jules gag
8. Word combinations to be published later. (this is classic I assure you)

Never a dull moment. But at least when she’s popped she can look back and laugh (or hit me that I’ve documented it) and hopefully tell a few other freaky deeky preggo broads that it’s ok to be a complete freak as far as smells are concerned.

photo credit: Lord Jim