Archive for September, 2009

Joel asked about Fifth Disease and rather than cluttering up the website, I’m going to link to my response on our family compounding pharmacy website The Compounder.com:

Read my educated answer here: http://thecompounder.com/fifth.php

Two weeks ago we traveled to the high risk OB’s office to check on Julie’s cervix length to determine if these extremely early contractions were somehow harming her, the babies or shrinking her cervix somehow. Last time she had the cervical scan, it “looked good for 16 weeks” but there wasnt a truly defined cervix to really measure, but there also wasn’t anything to be concerned about when looking at it.

This time, the scan was more specific because the cervix had developed more since two weeks prior. I’m not 100% sure what the number was, centimeters or “clicks” or what, but she measured at “46.” If you know what that means, please, let me know. Of course, having the technician say “Now THAT is a beautiful cervix,” is good enough for us.

And for the record, I am thankful, once again, for the testicles I was given, because if someone told me to shove this inside of me I would vomit.

Look at this WAAAAND!

Of course the blue goo is perfectly coiled like a squirt of caramel isn’t it?

"Would you like to guide it in?" "No!"

For the record, I would not like to guide it in.

fin.

Since late June 2009 when we found out we were being blessed with having twins, we have discovered two distinct types of people, in regards to their discovery that we are having twins. So as to not dwell or end on a negative point, I will discuss the shitfaces first.

Shitfaces:

Shitfaces are broken down into three types of people:

1. People who already have twins and are offended that you will be sharing in their experience and stealing their thunder. Nothing you can say to stand up for yourself is of any merit because you haven’t experienced what they have, yet. You are dumb, you are walking into hell, and whatever happens with your twins is easy compared to what they deal with on a daily basis with theirs.
2. People who are normally “OH YEAH?” people. Even if you just won the lottery, which we kind of just did, they won more. Even people without children have made comments to somehow insinuate that their life is more difficult, yet we haven’t insinuated that our life will be difficult, it will just be different.
3. People who immediately react with negativity from a first person standpoint, as if the misplaced empathy they feel immediately makes them feel better by saying something negative. I have actually had a good friend of mine laugh out loud as soon as I told him and instead of saying “Congrats man!” he blurted out “THAT SUCKS!!” Does it? How?

Now I’m not a vengeful person, nor do I wish ill will on these people, rather I feel sorry for folks like this. There are so many things to stand up for in life and to make one of them a negative one is beyond me. If these peeps actually feel better for having spouted something like I have mentioned above, they probably have never realized how much better they could feel if they offered advice when we’re in the weeds, or freaking out or unsure of something about the day to day logistics of parenting twins, or even just an ear on the phone if they don’t have twins, or even kids at all.

These people could set themselves up as resources, friends or the people you remember for saying really really cool shit when they hear the news.

The Citizens of Awesomeville:

The residents of Awesomeville have four types:

1. Parents of twins who instantly welcome you into the gang with a secret handshake, a knowing nod and the offering of an ear to talk into, should you need it. These folks dealt with the Shitfaces, and they know the value of positive thinking, speaking and acting. They know that the times when you are unsure about things are the times when you feel most vulnerable to negative thought and that even the smallest suggestion of a struggle on down the road can freak you out for a few days.
2. Parents of any child or children that give you the look of “If anyone can do it, you guys can do it.” One of my best friends on the planet is one of those guys who mutters things you see on the walls of corporate offices or grade schools at random times and even he was stumped, and ended up saying quite loudly as he embraced me in a giant bearhug: “You are going to kick a shit ton of ass my friend!” I need that when I’m not in front of my wife, I really do, and it is completely appreciated.
3. The people who love babies and everything about babies and make themselves honorary family members. I remember when we were just about to have our son and these people used to creep me out. I was always saying to myself “STOP TOUCHIN MY LADY’S BELLY YO!” Yet you don’t realize that as soon as your baby is born, they will shower that kid and you with love as if they are actually in your family. I have a friend through other friends that I don’t really talk to, but I picture her first when talking about these type people as she always gets up when we see her and asks to hold or hang out with my son. She doesn’t get creepy and whip out her tit trying to breast feed him, or take him into another room out of our line of sight, she’s just perfectly happy giving my family some attention because it makes her happy.
4. The people who remember. These are the people, regardless if you’re having twins, or a singleton, or getting a new job, or moving into a new house, these people, as unoften as you might see them, they remember. They ask. They understand that they aren’t in your life every day, but they want to make sure that the time they spend with you, no matter how short, is worthwhile and meaningful. Just this past weekend we went to two friends’ 30th birthday party and it was unreal. Here we are, driving an hour into the city, sweating from the walk of carrying the little dude, and watching wife waddle with the backpain and constant early contractions, and we’re being embraced genuinely. I’d guess about 80% of our friends there knew about the twins, but even those that just thought Jules was just pregnant were excited to see us and made sure to convey that excitement appropriately. None of that “WHERE YOU BEEN DUDE?” or “DUDE, YOU NEVER GO OUT ANYMORE!” or my favorite “YOUR WIFE LET YOU LEAVE THE CRIB EVER MAN?” – Mature adults realize that time passes quickly when you haven’t seen someone, but true friends don’t care how long it’s been, right now means more than all those times you weren’t out on the town knocking back jaegerbombs and playing beer pong on skyscraper roofs.

In conclusion, some people frickin rule. Some people need a good smack upside the head with their own negativity and a good one on one with their own disappointment at how their lives turned out because of their shitty attitude.

NOTE: Curse words fucking rule.

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It’s been an interesting few weeks, as the weekend before last Julie started having contractions. Week 16 and contracting? Not normal.

She knows how to listen to her body so she sat down immediately and gave herself some down time, but they started happening WHILE she was laying down too, so we thought it wise to contact our doctors and see what they thought.

A few phone calls later we had some appointments and tests lined up with our OB group and the high risk doctors we see in tandem. We visited the high risk OB first and did a cervix measurement and were told that the cervix was in fact, nice and long and that when we returned in a few weeks they would document, again, the length.

So from now on, every time we see the high risk OB there will be a cervix measurement involved.

After they had taken that measurement and assured us that everything looked fine, Julie was given a high five for paying attenion to the situation and bringing it to the attention of the doctor groups we visit. Way to go Julie! You know A BOATLOAD  about how you are supposed to feel. Most men I know would ignore it and keep on mowing like me.

***NOT THAT I MAKE MY PREGNANT WIFE MOW THE GRASS, although a little more help with digging trenches and the moat that I am constructing around our house would be appreciated. I’m not saying she’s lazy, but those two kids in her bell bell are a bad influence. What is this? SUMMER CAMP?

After she left the high risk OB she headed up to the OB group that will be participating in catching the twins as they come squirting out in 2010 for a urinalysis. They wanted to check her levels against her previous tests and check for any signs of infections that could be causing the contractions.

Nada. Nothing. Her pee was perfect.

I tell her this all the time now: “Julie, your urine is top notch, be proud of yourself.”

So now we’re cutting short our attendance at parties and elevated stress situations to hopefully reduce the number of these contractions, but it sucks that she is feeling them so early. We might have to cancel the tag team co-ed wrestling tourament we entered because of this.

We were going as “The Belly Bumpers”.

Oh well.

Below is some imagery I think you should show your husbands, since women all know their gps coordinates for each of their female parts better than guys know where the remote is.

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Ask and you shall receive!

Joel asked me on Tuesday what I had heard, read or learned about fighting morning sickness symptoms with certain vitamins. I did some research and came upon a study done in the 1950′s that touches on this very topic.

I’ve published the article at our compounding pharmacy’s website. Go check it out @ http://www.thecompounder.com/morningsicknessvitamins.php

Larry J. Frieders, RPh
larry@thecompounder.com

The Compounder/Techni Med, Inc.
340 Marshall Ave #100
Aurora, IL 60506 – ph.630.859.0333

http://www.thecompounder.com