Archive for October, 2009

Yesterday, we drove up north again to visit with high risk OB at Delnor to check the cervical length again. With Julie’s bout of food poisoning, constant contractions and work related stress on top of just “having twins” they are quite adamant about getting consistent measurements to get some trending data to rely on. Last week it went from a 5.2 cm to around a 4.3cm, and yesterday Jules was at a 4.7cm.

We learned that the cervix isn’t actually growing, but possibly relaxing, as its size is dynamic and constantly changing. But from the comments of the nurse and doctors at high risk, Julie has herself a beautiful looking cervix.

Thank frank!

So with just under four months to go in Julie’s twin pregnancy, we are trying to keep her relaxed around the house and lessening her stress level with her constant work worries. A few of the people we’ve met on Twitter have told us that they were put on bed rest at week 20 and had their twins at week 30, and knowing that their babies survived and are thriving is inspiring. But that doesn’t mean we’re loosening on our expectations for Julie’s cervix, NO SIR.

I’ve made up a schedule for her cervix to follow every day to make sure it keeps intact and performing up to par for the remainder of the pregnancy. This includes a lot of positive ego boosting and one on one conversations with the cervix.

People might find it odd, but I’ve spent the last few days speaking directly to the cervix in an encouraging voice:

“Who’s my favorite cervix? YOU ARE!”

“We’re counting on you Vix. You are our Obi Wan in this particular juncture.”

“Only you can prevent forest fires.”

“Don’t play like the Chicago Bears, be a winner!”

“You inspire me to be a better cervix, even though I’m a human male with no chance of ever being or owning my own cervix.”

Hey, I didn’t say I wasn’t completely drunk on lack of sleep and continuous worry, this is therapeutic! For me AND the cervix. It’s just a bit uncomfortable for our guests to see me speaking at my wife’s crotch all the time.

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I don’t care who you are, when that nurse whips out the Doppler you get excited to hear what the lil ones got goin’ on up in mom’s bell. What’s funny is that I have a doppler at home that is left over from my pharmacy’s home health days, hell, I even have a billi-light set up if we need it, but there is a certain sense of pride one can feel when they rip the Doppler wand out of the nurse’s hand and guides them to the each heartbeat instantly.

I’m their dad, I know where the hell they are at all times. I even installed a webcam in my wife’s drawls to keep an extra eye on em. I get a text message, email, fax and tweet whenever they move.

Yeah people, I’m that involved.

If you haven’t purchased your own off eBay or craigslist or anywhere else on ye internets, you simply MUST darling. Just listening to babies is not all you can do with your Doppler. There are many other hilarious and disgusting uses for a baby-listening utensil. For example:

1. Using the 1/8″ output, record your baby’s or babies’s heartbeats and cut the .wav files and use them as kick drums in cakewalk software and make dance music using only uterine noises.
2. Eat a handful of cheeseballs and immediately listen as they digest. I’ve noticed that snack foods that contain mostly air emit an odd whistling as they pass through the esophagus.
3. Hold in all flatulence for a good half hour and listen as the gas escapes back into your body, doubling in intensity, aroma and comedic effect.
4. Hold the machine to your throat and gargle without water and make all kids within earshot stop and pay attention to you.
5. Cup the Doppler wand in your hands and say “Luke, I am your insurance salesman.” This will not annoy your wife.
6. Turn on the machine and whip the wand around by its cord and listen to the windsong.
7. Tell your wife to take her phone conversation about absolutely nothing upstairs and close the door. Then quietly sneak up there and put the Doppler wand to the door and the speaker to your ear (on low volume) and try to extract as much random chatter as you can. And when she opens the door to find you and your son ear up against it, open your mouth in an “IM SHOCKED” fashion and storm away.
8. When your mother in law calls, put the Doppler wand up against your facial hair and the speaker to the phone mic and ruffle your feathers. She won’t find it annoying at all.
9. Take it grocery shopping with you and clip it to your belt. Occasionally hold the wand up to random items in the store and act suspicious. When someone makes eye contact with you, drop the item and squeal like a 6 year old girl and hightail it out of there.
10. Take it to family functions and when large male members of your family are sitting, bell exposed, squirt some of the blue ultrasound goop on their belly and give a listen, preferably with the entire family behind you to hear “the beautiful gift of life.”

In no way am I joking about any of this.

Love,

Dad

So we had the 23 week OB appointment yesterday up in St. Charles and after last Monday’s scare with the pukefest and the tepid hot chocolate they were all about dissecting Julie’s ever-increasing contractions and how they feel and where they fall on the Richter scale. As the husband who is constantly listening, even when I pretend I’m not listening, I knew the answers to all of their questions but refrained from raising my hand and answering for the lady who actually has the two babes all up in them guts.

Julie’s 23 week, twin pregnancy contractions are described as follows:

• A quick tightness in the upper ute
• Lasting anywhere from 15 seconds to 2 minutes
• They happen occasionally in the morning, but build up frequency as the day progresses
• When they happen at night she can move her laying position and it sometimes quells the severity
• Lately they have been taking her breath away
• She feels like she can’t take a full breath or a deep breath
• At this moment they do not wake her up out of a sound sleep

The doctors assure Julie that the shortness of breath is that there is baby where there used to be just expansion room for the diaphragm. If the contractions start becoming painful or knocking her off of her feet we should call the doctor’s group and set up an appointment.

But, everything looks good for a woman in her 28th week of pregnancy with one baby. The doctor plainly said “You’re measuring at 28 weeks.” Not bad baby maker extraordinaire!

Because of last week’s scare and the increase in the number of contractions, both the OB group and the high risk OB want to see more frequent cervical length pictures, so after our appointment in St. Charles we were told to head over to Delnor in Geneva to get another cervix length check.

I will have you know, with Julie’s expansive knowledge of St. Charles’ backroads, we got from Kirk & 64 to Delnor in 23 minutes. Which is unheard of. This is so unheard of, George Costanza from Seinfeld would brag of such an effort every time he saw you, had he accomplished something as impressive as the 23 minute romp from St. Charles to Geneva. It sounds pathetic, seeing as they are right next to each other on the map, but as far as traffic goes, they should both ban all vehicular traffic and start over it’s so brutal up there.

Dr. Losure at high risk OB took a look at Julie’s cervical measurements and noted a decrease in size from last weeks 5.25cm to 4.3 cm, but we are still supposedly in the good zone. There was no evidence of funneling (image link) or anything to be concerned with, but due to the fact that its size has decreased, we will be checking the cervix again next Monday to get trending data and see if any further action is needed.

So in the span of three weeks we’ve gone from needing 6 week appointments for each doctor, usually falling within 2 weeks of each other, to 4 week appointments, to now, weekly.

And we still have 16-17 weeks to go.

Whatever, I’ll take constant car time and gas expenses for healthy babies anyday.

Like many of you, I subscribe to a number of parenting blogs about raising twins, now that I’m on course for watching them shoot out of wifey’s hoo-ha, it seems pretty necessary to beef up my brain to prepare for the onslaught.

One of my favorites is http://www.dadsguidetotwins.com and the guy who authors it, Joe, is always open to questions from his readers.

WELL I HAVE QUESTIONS!

The one that I am constantly reminded about is the morning shuffle off to daycare/work. How does one manage to get out the door for work WITH TWINS?!

So I asked this very question and Joe, the stand up guy he is, wrote back! He’s real! He isn’t a robot with twins! He’s a human awesome machine!

Below is Joe’s response and I’m thankful to have a better “nuts & bolts” idea of how a married couple gets the army out the door every morning.

I got an email the other day from Joel at havingtwinsnow.com. He asked me how I even get out of the house in the morning to go to work.

This is a great question and I thought the answer would benefit you as well.

Indeed, having twins, and especially twins along with other siblings can make for a full and crazy house.

Right now, we’ve got two boys ages 4 and 3 and 15 month old twin girls.

My typical morning goes like this:

I wake up by 6:00am.

If the kids are still asleep, I jump in the shower and get ready. My wife may be at the gym exercising, handling the kids if they are awake, or still asleep.

By 6:30, I’m dressed and ready for the day. The kids are awake by this time and our older boys have already started wandering around the house. The twins will be in their cribs squawking for attention.

I’ll get all four kids to the kitchen and start them on breakfast.

If my wife was at the gym, she’ll arrive home around this time and then take a shower and get dressed while I finish up breakfast with the kids.

While the kids are eating, I’ll eat breakfast and pack a lunch to take to work.

As the kids finish eating, I’ll help them get dressed or point them in the right direction. Our four year old can get dressed himself. Our three year old takes some effort.

I’ll clean up our 15 month old twins and carry or lead them to their room to get dressed. I’ll change their diapers, get them dressed and then set them free to play and roam around the house.

About the time the kids are ready, my wife will finish up her morning preparations and will relieve me while I brush my teeth, put on my shoes and get ready to leave.

We’ll have family prayer together and then I give everyone hugs and kisses.

Goodbyes are probably the hardest part of the morning since all the kids either want multiple hugs or don’t want me to go to work.

I’m usually out and on the way to work by 7:45am.

We’ve got our system down pretty good but it varies day-to-day based on the randomness of life. Fortunately my wife is flexible with her schedule, I have a short commute and don’t always have to be to work at a specific time.

We are able to have a smooth morning routine because our kids have predictable sleep schedules (thanks to Good Night Sleep Tight) and we make sure the house is cleaned up the night before so everything is in order when we wake up.

Hope this peak into my morning routine helps as you conquer the morning with your little ones.

Best Regards,
Joe Rawlinson

Joe rules. So go visit his website: DadsGuideToTwins.com or I’ll cry.

What emergency trip to Labor & Delivery isn’t without it’s high points?

Like I mentioned in Tuesday’s post, Monday was poopy all around, but at least we got to check in on our little parties.

Let me yank out my wallet and show you the latest pictures of my twins and one of my ladykiller son to round out our clan.

As you can see, Leah is in a fighting position with her dukes up, while Mason is actually convinced you’re spying on him. Notice the pointing hand and suspicious eye.

And our little man? Well, he lives for messy. If only to stop, look at you and say “Messy.” Then he enjoys running away while you try and clean him up.

Here is where I apologize for informing you that my kids are at least 87,000% cuter than yours.

“Yeah, sorry bout that.” *scratches head, looks away*