Not really.

When we initially found out we were having twins, I said to my wife: “As long as it isn’t two girls, we’ll be ok.”

I didn’t mean that in a derogatory way, or that women are difficult (OF COURSE THEY AREN’T), or that I don’t like little princesses. I meant it in a way that only I can explain using my hands.

So imagine me using my hands to describe to you my feelings on two girls vs. two boys or one of each.

If I already have one boy, and then have two girls, how can I properly devote all of my sappy princess-talk to two girls? I need one little lady to be my princess, my little fairy queen, my “Daddy will buy you a pony, of course” little woman. I am completely okay with being a pushover, but I think I would be less successful as that pushover if I had to spread it out between two little princesses.

Two boys? MORE DIRT! I love my little dude right now because he gets back up every time and keeps moving. I love the little boy mentality of “Try it three times: Once to try it, twice to see if that really just happened, and then third to solidify that _____ will happen and the second time wasn’t just a fluke.”

Two more boys would make my house a house of scents. Not a house of sense or cents, but scents.

We would revel in our filth and bark and passing cars.

We would burp good night to each other.

We would pee outside in a row and tag our Luxembourg surname onto the neighbors fence.

We would break things and pound our chests in glory.

We would torment our fair mother with bowel movements so vile, high fives and chest bumps would reward them.

We would sing the songs of vikings as we hoist our meats above our heads prior to ingestion.

We would pile our socks in the driveway and set them ablaze, as wearing new socks is the reward of the ancients.

We would dance by the moonlight in our boxer shorts singing “Bear down Chicago Bears.”

We would get tattoos of each of us getting tattoos only because the story would be hilarious to tell at parties.

We would growl at passersby for sport.

We would be men. Men doing manly man-sport. ARRRGH!

Buuuuut, what about one of each?

THAT IS THE PERFECT SCENARIO in my opinion. One more boy to join in our above-mentioned festivities, one girl to keep mommy happy.

So what is the deal with the babies up inside the vajayjay of my fair Julie?

ONE

OF

EACH

We saw the penis yesterday.

LET THE CELEBRATING BEGIN!

Wooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooo!

photo credit: acme

PARTY HATS!

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