granted, my balls are divine and filled with the sperm of the ancients, but regardless of their lineage and internet fame, may is usually the time when i am most fertile. wifey and i celebrate our wedding anniversary amidst our family’s craziest month of the year for us, today may 22nd. may holds her mom’s birthday, her dad’s birthday, her birthday, mother’s day, our anniversary and memorial day. because we always try to take a night away from everyone else around this time of year, we also manage to make babies around this time of year.

last year i tried this move where i held a summer sausage in my teeth and a vodka tonic in my left hand while humming the theme song to gummibears. SCORE! TWINS!

but not this year. no. no more. im pretty sure we’ve reached our quota on kin. while i see her dad with his two daughters and the gleam in his teeth (could be the mercury fillings *shrug*) when he takes his two daughters out, i will have to deal with one ruling princess and two brutes. so yes, that was an admission of happiness you cockflowers.

may 22nd.

six years ago she tied me down and im almost positive her constant pressure on my testicles is the reason they have their own float at the Macy’s thanksgiving parade this november.

my balls will be on regis & kelly next week to talk about flotation devices and testicle safety.

happy anniversary babe, i will talk about my huge balls for the rest of your life.

love,

hubs

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