Take a joke.

I walked past her getting into her pj’s last night and rather than yelling “MOLE!” like I often do regarding her regular mole I’ve named Moley, I pointed at her mommaries and screamed “VEINS!”

Bad move.

My shoulder is throbbing and she put razor blades in my taco salad. I knew those weren’t lettuce shreds woman!

Her reaction wasn’t completely evil, as she looked down and noticed her terts, belly and womanly shoulders (in no way similar to a linebackers or iron workers) and said aloud: “Is this normal?”

Actually, it is.

Take a gander at BabyCenter’s article on varicose veins, and pay attention to the following paragraph:

They’re much more common in women than men, and if you have them, they tend to get worse with each successive pregnancy and as you get older. Being overweight, carrying twins or higher multiples, and standing for long periods can also make you more susceptible.

So Jules, you’re a freak, but you’re my freak honey bunny. It’s actually quite conveinient to be able to see how you’re digesting, my little see-through lovebug!

I’m hoping she hasn’t changed the locks by the time I get home after writing this.

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