I can tell you that my entire pregnancy me wanting a vaginally delivery was discouraged at every single turn (including our local mom yahoo “support” groups.) I was all, wait, what? Why can’t I at least TRY? I started researching a tons on home birthing and water birthing because I was not getting any support at all my private OB/GYN and the hospital he was associated with. I went searching for midwifes and got the same push back. I cried to my husband, “how can this be? we live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I am not allowed to have the birth of my choice?” My husb was ready to move the sofa and let me push them out in the living room. We live 5 mins from two hospitals so I knew god forbid something went wrong I’d have an out.

My very last saving grace was a local free women’s clinic. I do not speak a word of Spanish and while their English was really limited I received not only more high risk testing but better overall emotional and spiritual attention than I did at my smantzy “you’re just a number and hello everyone has a tummy tuck with their C-Section” Central Park West OB.

Changing practices at 32 weeks knowing full well I could go into labor any second was scary as hell. But the best decision I’ve ever made.

Gabriel was born vaginally – within 20 minutes, 15 pushes total. The doctors made sure to hold Stella in place so that she wouldn’t turn breech. I heard her heart slowing down very rapidly and I knew she would come via C. she did, but at least I was given the opportunity to TRY.

My recovery from the C was the worst medical experience in my life. So many things that you are never told. If you can change doctors, please start interviewing right away! I hope your wife has the birth of her dreams!!

xoxo
Z

I found you through @manhattanspeak tweets.

First of all, on behalf of all medical professionals, I want to say I’m sorry. You are ENTIRELY correct – the midwife should have been instilling CONFIDENCE in you, not confusion. There is no acceptable reason for her to have treated you that way. Whatever her excuse might be, it’s not good enough.

Second, working in a High Risk OB clinic like the one you’ve just experienced, there is really no reason mom can’t try for a vaginal delivery. The common requirements are that BOTH babies be head down (while some doctors are comfortable with only baby A being head down) and also that Baby A be the bigger baby. (Once mom has been pushing for a while, it would be unfair for her to be exhausted and then have to start all over with a more DIFFICULT delivery.)

Vaginal delivery is still preferable to c-section, even though it carries higher risks with twins. One of the worst case scenarios is being able to deliver Baby A vaginally, and then requiring an emergency c-section to deliver Baby B. Hard on babies, and harder on mom who now has to recover from two different deliveries.

That being said, and please forgive me and excuse me if I’m giving you information you already know, let it be known that you have the right to have an ultrasound at the VERY LAST MINUTE before deciding whether or not both babies are head down, and what kind of delivery is planned. Let it be known that you refuse to have a c-section unless it is proven medically necessary, and not just a, “Because I said so” situation.

Again, I’m very sorry they’ve done such a horrible job helping you through a terribly stressful and worrisome time in your pregnancy. If you have any questions, or just want a second opinion, please feel free to email me, and I will do my best to help.

Best of luck, best wishes, and congratulations on your double bundle.
~Mandy (@TempestBeauty)