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Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 we did our normal routine of hitting up one Dr.’s office and then moving on to the next.

We first had a cervical scan at High Risk OB at Delnor Hospital with Rita and Dr. Kalchbrenner. Of course the staff was awesome and the scan proved encouraging, as Julie is now measuring at 44 and is, supposedly, sporting a cervix that even women carrying singletons would admire.
The people at HROB are dependable and you never leave feeling like they don’t have their shit together.

I wish I could say the same for Focus On Women’s new merger partner Fox Valley Women & Children’s Health Partners.

We were informed of the merger about a month ago and while at the time it seemed like something that wouldn’t necessarily impact our doctor/patient relationship too much, but now it seems like the common courtesy to “READ YOUR PATIENT’S FILE BEFORE THE APPOINTMENT” went out the window with their old business cards.

Some aspects of the merger seemed convenient, like an office about 25 minutes closer to our home, and, well, that was basically it. But the addition of a dozen new doctors into the fray makes us feel like we’re on a speeding car, sitting shotgun, and the driver keeps changing spots leaving us headed towards oncoming traffic too frequently.
It’s unsettling.

While getting Julie’s blood pressure taken and the heart rates of the bebes, the MA asked Julie when her C-Section was scheduled for.

Excuse me? What C-Section? Julie looked like she had been hit with a frying pan (not that I’ve ever attempted to hit her with a frying pan, she’d kick my ass).

The MA said it was just a routine question, but it was one we had never been asked because when we first met with Focus On Women it was determined that that would be a judgment call come time to deliver. If baby A (Leah the beautiful) was head down, we’d proceed with the vaginal birth. If not, we’d move towards a C-Section. But to hear it asked of us like we were unprepared for not having one scheduled was a bit unnerving. It seems this new practice we’ve been thrown to has a policy of ONLY performing C-Section births for multiples, no matter what. We wish we would have know there was no natural option with the new doctors.

About twenty minutes later the midwife came in and did her best to act like she had read Julie’s file, but it was clear that she had no idea what the hell was going on because all of her questions raised more and more questions from us.

We immediately ask about the C-Section issue and she goes on to tell us that the two groups have not agreed on a standard for the practice yet. “But what did Focus On Women tell you?” she asks. Julie starts talking and no sooner than a dozen words come out the midwife is interrupting her telling us where her practice stands.

Did you just ask my wife a question? Will you let her finish? We understand you are more important than us, but isn’t the purpose of this appointment to see how Julie is doing and progressing in the pregnancy not hearing your opinions on which practice’s stance is better in your non-doctor opinion? This woman seemed nice, but completely snobbish to us because we had come from the other practice.

“So you’re 29, about 30 weeks pregnant, and O negative, when did you have your Rhogam shot?” the midwife asks.

Again, what? You’re the doctor/person in charge of that. “We were told at our last visit that I would receive it or set it up at this visit.” Julie replies.

“Hmmm. We’re a bit past the cut off, but it should be alright.” The midwife spits back.

So let’s just clarify something here, our original doctor group’s doctor told us we were okay to do it at THIS visit, and you are now claiming we’ve “missed the boat” and should have had it earlier? Is this some sort of professional catfighting between original practitioners of one office who have been invaded by other practitioners and there is a bit of animosity between the two groups?

The little pauses and eyes darting back and forth and eyes rolling and audible sighs after we tell you what we’ve been told by our original doctor’s group and the constant INTERRUPTING is beginning to wear on my patience. I don’t give a flying fuck what your professional beef is, your job is to be a doctor, not a politician, knock this shit the fuck off.

The midwife added quickly, “But you have to have a antibody screen within four days of getting the rhogam shot, when was your last antibody screen?”
Don’t you have the computer in front of you? Isn’t what I think I’ve had a bit erroneous? I am a layman, I could tell you they tested my wife’s testicles for fucking asbestos! You have doctor-documented information at your fingertips and you’re asking my wife questions that we trust you to know the answer to in the first place!

The entire exchange between us and the midwife was confusing, as our original questions were kind of put to the side as she created more concerns rather than quell any.

A simple question that we both had was: who do we call when we’re on the way to the hospital in possible labor?

This completely stumped our fair midwife. She actually left the room to ask someone 30 grand below her pay grade to find out the “cheat code” to get out of the phone tree. Which is ANOTHER pain in the ass coming from a practice where HUMANS answered the phone! Now we get the pleasure of selecting one of NINE options when calling. Golly! The answer she came back was “Select the one that says make an appointment and that should get you to where you need to be, if not, labor & delivery at the hospital will call the doctor on call.”

Unreal. If your job was to make a family feel better about the impending birth of their children, you fucking failed lady.

So we left not knowing if we were going to be forced into a C-Section, not knowing exactly how to get a hold of the doctor on call if we’re on the way to the hospital on delivery day, not knowing if the rhogam shot is going to be given too late, and we left now knowing we don’t want to see these people any more.

To any doctors or midwives reading, read the file before you meet your pregnant patients. It’s respectful and necessary if you don’t want to backtrack and confuse the people you’re supposed to be inspiring confidence in.

Piss me off, that’s one thing.

Make my wife cry and I will fucking cut you.

Love,

Dad

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We had our first appointment with our new OB group on Wednesday, July 29th @ Focus On Women in St. Charles, IL.

We had no expectations but to hear the heartbeats of our babies for the first time. The last time we were in a position to hear them, they were looking for one heartbeat and found three (a, b & julie – not triplets), so the sound was forgotten in order to celebrate the multiple factor.

Our first impressions were all awesome. Nice office, nice people, awesome Doctor and a huge favor that we won’t forget.

As the MA was poking around with the doppler, we found one heartbeat at 160 bpm but couldn’t find another one. She apologized and left the room saying the doctor would be in shortly. Now, there is nothing like hearing your child’s heartbeat for the first time, and there’s nothing like finding out you’re having twins, but when someone says they cant find the heartbeat of one of your babies, no matter how tough and strong you are, you start to freak out a little bit.

We’ve read about “disappearing twins” and about the mothers who birth one live and one stillborn baby, but we haven’t actually put any of that into our stockpile of preparation ammunition by ANY means. After a few minutes of silence the doctor enters the room and sees Jules crying and me fighting back tears unsuccessfully. She asked what was wrong and we explained without actually explaining so as to keep those words unspoken.

With a quick tilt of the head and a smile the doctor says “Do you want to go see them? I have an ultrasound down the hall. Come on, let’s take a walk.”

A few deep breaths and a squirt of some cold ultrasound lube later we were looking at our two babies. The heartbeat on the right side twin was clear as day, the left side, not so much. Just as we were about to look at each other the left one JUMPED and twisted like a microscopic version of our son. We were overjoyed, again.

I pulled out my cell phone and asked if I could take a picture to which the doctor scoffed and said “I can print you a picture.”

So I have the first picture of our two lil’ ninjas.

Most people would have no idea what they hell they were looking at, but our son was considered high risk so I have improved my ultrasound viewing capabilities considerably since the first time I witnessed one. If you don’t know, up top, exact middle is one and to the left of that is two. They are both playing Playstation 3 in this picture like their daddy does when all the kids and wife are asleep.

START EM YOUNG!

Needless to say, we’re not as freaked out knowing that they’re still kicking a ton of ass, but we’re not to 12 weeks yet.

This is the part of my life where I hold up encouraging signs for my wife like I’m at a ballgame saying things like:

DRINK THAT WATER!

EAT THAT PROTEIN!

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!

I will take care of everything else, you just take care of you three.