Posts Tagged ‘internet’

Image by misskoco via Flickr

Thankfully, my current twitterfeed consists of porn stars and the mothers and fathers of twins and multiples. So when I’m not in the mood for stories about chapped nipples, projectile vomiting, poop up the backs of pajamas, or all night crying fits; I can always go look at some surgically altered breasticles and backsides.

Am I gross? Should I be punished? Are you thinking “what a perv!”?

I don’t really care what your opinion of me, but I can honestly say from a father’s standpoint, that the best way to give a man a refresher is to shove some fake tanned boobs in his face. I want to stay on top of my game so my twitterfeed is 90% twins, parenting and twin parenting related and 10% boobs. If I ever freak out I will up my boob intake by a minimum of 10%. It’ll be the tits!

SO, back to what I’m HELL YEAH-ing about regarding the internet today. I was going through twitter this afternoon and came across this article about Twin Support Groups and why it is a good idea to join one. At first I was like “Ah man, a group of whiny parents talking about chapped nipples, projectile vomiting, poop up the backs of pajamas, or all night crying fits – where’s the boobs?” But then I read this article and I am now convinced that the more reinforcements I have alongside me, the better my kids existence will be.

It’s a win win situation! I go listen to some talk about chapped nipples, projectile vomiting, poop up the backs of pajamas, and all night crying fits, then maybe I slip out the back, light a cigar, sip some Johnny Walker Red and talk boobs with the other twinpadres ay?

SEE! It all comes back to boobs! We come out attached at the nip, we die trying desperately to attach ourselves to more nips!

Regardless of my fascination with boobs today, I found a great article on a great blog (http://www.twinparenthood.com) that I will now follow like I follow boobs.

Read this article here: Top 10 Reasons to Join a Twins / Multiples Support Group

May your nipples remain unchapped, your kids vomit only trickle, their poop stay in it’s diaper and may they sleep through the night.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Chestina Aguilera still has oversized boobs! (music-juice.com)
• Eva Longoria’s boobs really need to breathe! (music-juice.com)
• Last Call for the Boobie-Thon! (yesbutnobutyes.com)
• Do You Know the Super Nanny? (tastelikecrazy.com)
• Boobie-Thon 2009 (yesbutnobutyes.com)
• Save some Boobs NOW (yesbutnobutyes.com)
• It’s Breastfeeding Awareness Month (blisstree.com)

So I occasionally read the blog: MyLifeWithTwins.com written by a regular dude named Sean Parsons, and I normally laugh pretty hard. The guy who writes it is frickin’ hilarious and seems like the kind of guy I would get in trouble with if we were allowed to drink together on occasion.

Well, I saw the words “FANTASY FOOTBALL” on his blog this morning and nearly pooped. AND if I were a TWIN of his my poop would have helped him in his fantasy football draft!

Read the following blog and have a giggle: Baby Pooping My Way To Fantasy Football Glory.

Remind me to keep this guys sense of humor in a few months when my wife’s vag opens up like the red sea and delivers my two new kiddos complete with prison snitch beanie and ceramic coffee mug filled with pencils for sale.

Sean Parsons deserves new nicknames every time you see him in person. Today’s submission?

Parsnip McPoofinger.

sean parsons, parsnip mcpoofinger

Related articles by Zemanta

• Best fantasy football team name contest: July (bleacherreport.com)
• Buy Low: Fantasy Football Investment Advice (bleacherreport.com)
• Does Fantasy Football Insurance Signal The End Of Days? [Duan!] (deadspin.com)
• Fantasy Football: Week 1 Studs (bleacherreport.com)

I dragged my feet on signing up for a HTN Twitter account. I seeeeriously dragged my feet. I don’t really have an excuse, but I’m now spending the majority of my time before bed finding other people to call upon once the twinvasion happens. And “holy macadamia nut farmers” there are a ton of people out there on twitter who talk about twins.

I’m not talking about the people who talk about celebrities and their twins, who are automatically better than your twins or mine, I’m talking about real frickin’ people twinttering! TWINTTERING! ZING!

One such example is today’s Hell Yeah Internet discovery: http://www.dadsguidetotwins.com/

I found the site through a tweet mentioning twins and I’ve scoured this guys pages. One such page that is just BALLS ON exactly what I needed is: http://www.dadsguidetotwins.com/how-to-measure-the-mounds-of-twin-advice/

This is a guide to sifting through all of the advice people throw at you about having twins. It might not be NEW information, but it’s concise, and I NEED CONCISE RIGHT NOW PEOPLES!

Related articles by Zemanta

• Why Do People Use Online Social Networks : Internet Marketing … (jonggunlee.tistory.com)
• Twitter updates its status, kills Spam Owl (thecauseisthehabit.com)
• Internet Empowers Elites or Joe Public? (themoderatevoice.com)

I will admit to almost anything.
I watch reality television. I cry during Adam Sandler movies. I wear baseball jersies during football season and football jersies during baseball season. I’m a die hard Chicago Cubs fan, and we suck every frickin’ year. I’m a die hard Chicago Bears fan and we manage to suck pretty consistently as well. I read alot in the bathroom, and usually only stop once my legs have fallen asleep. I sleep with a purple pillow I call “purple pillow” and it smells like vitamins because I sweat into it the vitamins I mix at work.

I am addicted to lists.

photo credit: nalilo

Lists for what to do today, what to bring today, what to pack for tomorrow, what to write other lists about, etc.

So, while digging for more lists to create in my fat head, I stumbled upon a site that I have now bookmarked called: TwinMamaLoves.com.

More specifically, I found a post that SCREAMS my name and often times it screams it with a quite erotic undertone:

“JOEL! READ ME OVER AND OVER.”

This particular post is entitled: What Gear to Buy For Twins. I have read it about 78 times and kept it bookmarked, not on the homepage, but on this post.

So, if you are like me and you like your life listed out in “WHAT CAN I DO FIRST” fashion, go check out TwinMamaLoves.com‘s post called Twin Tuesday: What Gear to Buy For Twins.

Again, the internet comes to the rescue!

photo credit: larryzou@
It’s amazing, I find a site I love and I read everything I can, including all links and recommended websites on the pages found within.
That then leads me to other sites, and other sites and other sites.

Well, sometimes it’s the kitchy catchy website names that I ignore first in place of other less suave sounding domains, but when you exclude something just for being cute, you can miss out on some good information.

The site I’m recommending today is called TwInsight.com. Slick name. ACTUAL content this time around!

Twinsight actually holds workshops in the SoCal area for parents of multiples and parents who are expecting multiples. Not only that, but the founders of the program are the authors of the book Raising Twins: What Parents Want To Know.

A wealth of information and other great reference links are found within its pages. Stop by Twinsight.com for a peek into another great twin related website!

http://www.twinsight.com