Julie’s 24hr urine test showed a “higher than the doctor expected” amount of protein (526mg) in her urine and after a few more higher than normal blood pressure readings at our respective doctor’s offices our High Risk OB group was a ginger’s pubic hair away from admitting Julie into the hospital with preeclampsia. She would stay in the hospital until our family increases from 3 to 5.

We’ve gone through tears and crying about the thought of her actually missing Christmas morning with our son.

We’ve run over the logistics of having a wife in the hospital 50 minutes away where our son isn’t welcome because of the bullshit swine flu. Also factoring in that he’s doing really really well in his new bed.

We’ve realized that there is nothing more painful than not being able to see your kid.

We understand the need for hospitalization,  but we also understand that 32 weeks isn’t our perfect scenario to meet our children for the first time.

We wanted to avoid it until it was absolutely necessary.

So we took some precautions with Dr. Losure’s help at High Risk OB at Delnor Hospital.

Julie has been taking her blood pressure readings at home with a recommended wrist cuff (we got it at walgreens for about 40 bucks). She has been given the list of symptoms of preeclampsia to watch out for and has taken it down from about a 5 on scale of 1-10, to about a 2.

Meaning I allow her to wipe her own ass and feed herself.

On Christmas Eve we met with our other doctor group and our doctor there was happy with the bp readings Julie has been having, as well as the lack of any significant protein in her urine using the chincy little dipsticks they use.

He understood the strain a Christmas in the hospital would put on Julie if it wasn’t completely needed, so he scheduled another 24hr urine collection/blood test, and tomorrow we will find out the results of those tests.

We’re hoping we can add a few more weeks to our little baby farm up in Julie’s magic vag of enlightenment.

We will find out tomorrow. Until then…

High Blood Pressure & MORE Jugs of Piss is a post from: havingtwinsnow.com

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Back to our Cervix Length Update ladies & gentlemen!

Yesterday, November 3rd, 2009, Julie was measured at a whopping 5.0cm!

What does that mean? Well, it means that all of the communication that I have had with her nether regions are actually paying off! The time and energy I have devoted to speaking directly into the birth canal have made the impossible happen!

YES! The cervix seems to be GROWING! Yes, the doctors all say that is indeed impossible, but fuck them! They have no idea of the power of positive thinking and one on one discussions with a vagina!

These “Conversations With A Crotch” will soon be a part of a nationwide movement for all husbands of ‘preggo with multiples’ broads to get down at eye level with the baby-spewing-hole of their loved one and repeat the following poem in a Danish accent:

There once was a cervix named Flo, it’s loved ones urged her to grow.

When she was given the powers that be, she took over rank of the va-jay-jay and was soon in charge of the power to pee!

Shine on you crazy cervix, for you hold the everlasting power of birth, remain in your strength and length to keep my kids up in there, not yet on this earth.

Until the doctor says those magic words, dear cervix named Flo, I will give you the attention you deserve.

Yes, I know. I have serious problems, but what would you do when the only thing holding your kids in their mom-cubator is a tiny few centimeters?

Me?

I take my role as a supportive father very seriously and will do anything to ensure a safe arrival to their destination.

And yes, that includes reciting ridiculous poems to my wife’s crotch hole.

fin.

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CERVIX UPDATE 11/4/09 – Now with added LOLs! is a post from: havingtwinsnow.com

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This time, the scan was more specific because the cervix had developed more since two weeks prior. I’m not 100% sure what the number was, centimeters or “clicks” or what, but she measured at “46.” If you know what that means, please, let me know. Of course, having the technician say “Now THAT is a beautiful cervix,” is good enough for us.

And for the record, I am thankful, once again, for the testicles I was given, because if someone told me to shove this inside of me I would vomit.

Look at this WAAAAND!

Of course the blue goo is perfectly coiled like a squirt of caramel isn’t it?

"Would you like to guide it in?" "No!"

For the record, I would not like to guide it in.

fin.

Contractions @ Week 18 is a post from: havingtwinsnow.com

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Wifey can still hurl with the best of em, but she isn’t as timid or fearful about things that could potentially make her sick as she was just a month ago. I still find humor in almost every aspect of her pregnancy because nothing is a small problem, everything is the end of the world, even if it’s right there on the page in front of me as being a normal part of a twin pregnancy.

Round ligament pain, mucus, sore back, nausea, headache, irritibility, you name it, she is still trudging uphill through 8 feet of snow barefoot through it all.

She still has hang ups on things that could potentially make her gag, and I’ve come to appreciate the newer ones and some of the classics.

Here is our first SECOND TRIMESTER list of WHAT WIFEY HATES PT. III!

1. ANYONE’s breath, still
2. Our garage. 
3. Fresh cut grass
4. Cheap motorcycle exhaust
5. MSG, Aspartame & High Fructose Corn Syrup, still. (Read about MSG here!!)
6. The smell of Pasta Pickups “these smell like dog food”
7. Dogfood – we dont have a dog, but if we did, its food would make Jules gag
8. Word combinations to be published later. (this is classic I assure you)

Never a dull moment. But at least when she’s popped she can look back and laugh (or hit me that I’ve documented it) and hopefully tell a few other freaky deeky preggo broads that it’s ok to be a complete freak as far as smells are concerned.

photo credit: Lord Jim

August 18th, 2009 – What Wifey Hates Pt. III is a post from: havingtwinsnow.com

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photo credit: NickStenning

*NOT OUR DOCTOR’S PARKING SPOT – A MERE REPRESENTATION*

Well on July 8th we saw our general practitioner for the first time for this pregnancy.
The “prenatal visit” they tell me.

I don’t really remember all that poking, prodding and depressing conversation when we were there for our first child.
It seemed besides the initial excitement felt on our end and our continuing worry about managing a house with twins and an older brother, we have a truckload of bigger things to worry about.

Most importantly is the first 12 weeks. If the twins survive to 12 weeks inside the womb, their chances of survival make a huuuuge jump. If you were talking with your hands, you go from “weeeee chances” before 12 weeks to “yay chances” after 12 weeks.
So rather than convincing Julie to take a complete bedrest and avoid work altogether, our doctor put it out there that regular life and activities can continue but to put EATING, DRINKING FLUIDS and REST at the top of the list of things to do today, and tomorrow and for the next 4 weeks.

What I also thought was a pretty cool thing to say, our doctor made the comment that the prenatal vitamin CAUSES NASEUA, so in this case, since Julie has already been to the ER for dehydration and a nice little “HEY YOU’RE HAVING TWINS” moment, fluids and foods outweigh the necessity for the prenatal horsepills. So if you have to choose between pukey pukey and yummy yummy slurp slurp, go for the yummy slurps and foresake the pukey.

In addition to some simple counseling about the safety of our unborn twins and encouraging Julie to take the Zofran in case of emergency, we were also informed that we would no longer be seeing our general practice doctor for the remainder of the pregnancy. “I do singletons.” The doctor told us.

In a bizarre and morbidly blunt tone he said: “If you happen to lose one, then you’ll come back and see me.”

Coming from a family where the law of attraction and the belief that positive thinking is quite powerful, I don’t care to harbor such negative ideas, but I appreciate the sentiment.

The doctor continued to tell us that he WILL be in the delivery room, but not as quaterback as he was during our son’s birth.

So we learned a few things:

• Our due date is now February 16th, 2009
• We will be seeing a team of OBs (three to be exact) so on the day of delivery we will have an OB that knows all about Julie’s vajayjay and the state of our twins’ health
• This pregnancy is considered High Risk, so we will be going back to see our High Risk doctor from Julie’s last pregnancy on a regular basis

p.s. I always wanted to use vajayjay as a post tag! HAHAHAH!

First Doctor Visit – July 8th, 2009 is a post from: havingtwinsnow.com

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